Blog-Less..

Where do I start? And where do I end?? Acha, leave all that, what all do I write? Some questions that eat me up every time I step onto this blog. I love writing, as all my friends would know, but I really don't get things to write upon. Either I am too lost these days to focus onto something, or I actually have a non-blogging events filled life.. I hate being emotional, but thats when I like to write most, but then thats actually not what I am, so then I shouldn't be writing it.. Right? Confusing? Probably yes..

Its Holi time in a few hours, and right across my window, I see the full moon.. Quite stunning actually. Reminds me of all those nights of promises, that, well never really were kept.. And its so long back, but still times seems to have stalled since then. Though as far as life here goes, it has been running at a breakneck speed. There's something or the other to do almost always, and days of chilling are only days like these, some festival or some major event. Amm... Not the exact concept of work hard and party hard, since I do neither!!!.. But still a kind of life you curse on days, and then there are days when you cant have enough of it. That's the relationship I have shared with MBA throughout- a love-hate one.

As this year ends for me, I feel I could have done much more here. Some of it is my fault, some of it is the fault of the process I am part of, where your ability is judged by the words you can speak in a 10-15 minute interview, rather than your actions. But then, I guess it is the same everywhere, from our Kindergarten days to the XAT days. Talk and talk.. call it gyaan, call it golbal, or call it Gas.. Thats the way to do it best..I am trying to get out of this grave that I have dug up these days, but till now it has been futile. Let's see how long my attempts last!!! I know I can lose it very early!

That is obviously one big chunk of my life- XLRI.. but I am living 2 different lives inside. Balancing it out, one is too fast, the other is too slow. One doesn't allows me to think, and the other doesn't want me to think. It is like batting on a pitch, where some balls keep low, while other just fly by your nose. You never know whether to come forward, or go back. So much the same here- move ahead or go back? Well I am doing what the purists would advice- just fight it out. Sehwagology might want me to hit out, but then I can't play like that!!

And look, i know the post has gone nowhere- it has just moved here and there, and come back to its old place. No value addition perhaps. But that's what I said- I can't think of anything worthwhile to write. The pains of a Non-Blogger...