Sachin @20

"At the fall of the second wicket, that familiar traitorous roar goes round the stadium, at which point Tendulkar walks his slow walk out, golden in the sun, bat tucked under the elbow. The gloves he will only begin to wear when he approaches the infield, to busy himself against distraction from the opposition. Before Tendulkar has even taken guard, you know that his quest is equilibrium."

I am a small drop in the huge ocean of Sachin's fans. But those who know me well, would know that he is the one who gives me happiness beyond anything else in this world. When I feel down, when I feel lost, I always turn to Cricket. And if that doesnt help, then I turn to the Little Master. I have known Sachin Tendulkar, since the time i have known Cricket, and its tough imagining how life would be without him. people have loved him, hated him, but I have just adored him, worshipped him, not just for the player he is, but more for the person he is. Even with so much publicity, you could hardly hear Sachin getting into any controversy, leaving aside the Ferrari case. That makes him stand in a league of his own, where he has handled so much so easily, without ever complaining. And still, its Sachin who everyone focusses on, even after 2o years.

So at this occasion of Sachin's 20 years in International Cricket, I will just pick up a few memorable lines about this man...Thanks to Cricinfo for these:

"Memory obscures telling details in the dizzying rise thereafter. Everybody remembers the 326 not out in the 664-run gig with Kambli. Few remember the 346 not out in the following game, the trophy final. Everyone knows the centuries on debut in the Ranji Trophy and Irani Trophy at 15 and 16. Few know that he got them in the face of a collapse in the first instance and virtually out of partners in the second. Everyone knows his nose was bloodied by Waqar Younis in that first Test series, upon which he waved away assistance. Few remember that he struck the next ball for four."

"If the strokes are flowing, spectators feel something beyond pleasure. They feel something like gratitude. The silence that greets his dismissal is about the loudest sound in sport. With Tendulkar the discussion is not how he got out, but why. Susceptible to left-arm spin? To the inswinger? To the big occasion? The issue is not about whether it was good or not, but where does it rank? A Tendulkar innings is never over when it is over. It is simply a basis for negotiation. He might be behind headphones or helmet, but outside people are talking, shouting, fighting, conceding, bargaining, waiting. He is a national habit."

"Given conditions, given his fitness, his state of mind, he might put away a certain shot altogether, and one thinks it is a part of his game that has died, till he pulls it out again when the time is right, sometimes years afterwards. Let alone a career, in the space of a single session he can, according to the state of the rough or the wind or the rhythm of a particular bowler, go from predatorial to dead bat or vice versa."

Scraped Through..

Hmm...So..I am done with my first term here. I have mixed feelings about my life here; well,who wouldn't considering the mad schedule here. At times all we could do was laugh at our helplessness at the lack of time..80 pages to read, 1 hour to go. 4 questions to answer, 1 hour left to get a printout..Blah Blah..

Then loads and loads of PPTs..We might have made around 25-30(????) alone in this term!! Add to that the PPTs done in class, and I guess half my life @XL has gone this term dealing with PowerPoint.. But to add to that, our V Brand did make a name for itself this term, especially in "Corporate..(blah blah)..Responsibility" (I couldn't fit the name of this course in my end term answer sheet ;)).. I don't know how many would have actually liked our experiments with Role Plays, and Acts, but then I can bet my life that we were certainly the most creative group when it came to the mundane task of telling the class what they already knew..

The idea of different groups for different courses didn't really go too well with me initially, as it turned out, those were the only people I got to know well enough!! Oh yes..Still a few in the class with whom I haven't talked much, and 1 term is over!! In my defense- the same applies to them as well!!

As Sengo puts it: "The only good thing about this term is that ITS FINALLY OVER.."..it began so brilliantly with a near MAX score in QT...Aah..I saw so many dreams then, top ranks, scholarships, A+ grades- it turned into a nightmare soon. For the rest of the term I couldn't even add up half of what I got the first time :P

Then there was our "Managerial Economics"..God knows whats managerial in that..Anyways, I couldn't get a hang of it initially, bombed in the first quiz, got raped in the second (which brings me to one famous quote- "You don't get raped in XL, you get Kakani-ed and Gango-ed"..For the unenlightened, these are two of our professors!!)..getting out of quotes and all, and getting into Market forces, and Game Theory, as I stand now, Economics has been my strongest subject this term, and BELIEVE me, that is not saying much :(

The Show-Stealer though has been BFA...Basic Financial Accounting..Seems to be the most innocuous of subjects initially; but it has drowned many..We got our grades a couple of days ago, as many as about 55% of the Batch has below "B" Grades. More significant was the fact that the cutoffs came down drastically!! When its KILLER QUIZ was held on 24th, these were a few of the GTalk status lines(Plagiarism intended..Thanks to Varun :)): Find it here.
Vinayak Mehta : Et tu, Sengo!
Aditi Shukla : Last rays of hope are gone.
Vidisha Vijay : From one disaster to another
Avinash Mehra : BFA is BewaFA
Marshal Sonavane : Phir BewaFAi
Meet Kachchy : CFA to pass ho gaya, BFA ka pata nahi!
Sandeep Somisetty : 2 out of 30 in bfa quiz 2..now 30 on 45 needed..tuffer than eco now..
Shifa Shalini Tirkey : helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
Abha Inamdar : Even Ganpati Bappa has given up on me
Abha Inamdar : Ay kaash ki hum hosh mein aa paaye!
Shubham Singhal : I see a distant C,,which i cannot cross coz I dont know how to swim
Ruchika Sinha : Passing accounting suddenly has begun to look like a herculean task !!!
Pathikrit Basu : The Horror!! The horror!!
Rajkamal Roka : screwed up ...top to bottom
Sakyabrata Dutta : BFA is fast approaching the point of no recovery.
Varun Gupta : Gango na karey Sengo Ne Woh Kaam Kiya Hai!

As it is...when all was done, and the grades were out, I PASSED, Just, but I did!!! So after the Battle, Plassey returned home!!!!

Sea of Change...

26.06.2009

Right..so its 8 days for me since I am here..HERE- well what this small word signifies really has a big big impact to make on my life. Perhaps its still making something, but I still don’t think it to be something extraordinary; but yeah in the long run I know this phase is the critical one..
XLRI-its actually a dream to be here, and not just because of its reputation as one of the best B Schools. Theres actually another aspect of my story that’s worth mentioning. I will try not being critical in my tone regarding anything, just to add up. The kind of gulf between my present life and the one I was living till a few days ago, is actually the cause of my dreams.
My school life was a very decent one,if not good. Not very highly rated, but my institute really gave me all the necessary stuff you need,to create a strong enough base. And then my college. I never really gave much of a thought to the lack of facilities or the lack of infrastructure – the fact that most of the systems even lacked a working OS, or that most rooms dint have fans or tubes in order, and loads of similar stuff. But its pointless, since actually we never really felt the need for it. We managed like we should have done- occasionally cribbing, but getting the job done finally. I am proud about my graduation, because I know I had to work mostly on my own..
Par ab I am here, and I wonder where was I all life. From where do I start???? Such a clean beautiful campus with lawns, and trees, and plants cut into human shapes!!! Or even the hostel- quite well managed..Though many feel it can be better,and no doubt they are right, but I still feel its good enough!! And then the things that have really left me awestruck, at least for now..Dont mind if I sound like a real “Gaawwala” to you..But considering whats behind, this really deserves all this. Haan so those stuffs are our Classes and the Library..Classes pretty much the same like you can expect in institutes of this class- but just the feel you get sitting in a class like this is totally different- My past here seems to be a blessing in disguise that these classes really give me that kick that you need here…
Library- just the other day in that class presentation, they said the cost of Books and Journals alone..i repeat Books and Journals alone..is approx. 1.8 crores..1.8 crores..Right??? My first response was, ofcourse internally, “u got to be kidding me”..But then they showed us the list of books, and it seemed somewhat plausible. I wonder how much our College library cost!!! :P And its open 24 hours a day, and you can sit there on Wi Fi all day, and take any book and read it..Things I could never do before..So I m just enjoying this new lease of life.. Enjoying the fact that life has given me a chance to earn back all that I missed. Or atleast most of it. Like exclude Sports.. something I love so much, but last 4 years I have not really grown in any sports, and now don’t have the time to start from scratch. Par yeah, atleast the opportunities are there!!
Yeah theres a lot of workload, and it will increase as we move further into our term. But for now, I am just enjoying this sea of change!!!

P.S. On 27th, I issued a book from our Library. It was a week long arrival- Harry Potter- The Story of a Global Business Phenomenon. I am still to read it, lifes so hectic. But the funny thing is that leaving aside the course reading books, this was my first "real" issue in 6 yrs..right after class 10. I guess I have missed up on a fair bit of part, that you wont have, but I will make up now!!

Time to Think...

There have been days in these last 11-12 months, when I havent known why I have been doing something, or why I have been saying a thing; most of the times those things would be things I feel, in hindsight, I might never do..

But thats something I havent been able to control these days..before that all seemed fine..All emotions were like workstations, and me the Server..I could let them rise, fall, evolve, evaporate..but now its like GONE!!! What goes on in my head, i myself cant control it- only later I can repent on it, or be pleased about it..Its like my subconscious mind has taken over the controls..Ofcourse it does seem dangerous to me, but I dont hv a choice really!! Thinking is something you cant control, and you cant stop..unless you stop yourself!!

Most people here find it funny..that I think so much..and time to time thats an area of joke for them, for others its something to be worried about, or feel sorry of. Not that it upsets me, but yes sometimes I dont like it..Ofcourse no one will like it- when what you need is someone to help you out, and people make comments like "Kitna faltoo domaag lagate ho","Jarurat se jyada dimaag he" etc etc.. but last few days it seems like I am constantly at my boiling point, just need a small charge to pick up flames, and probably this inability to deal with it, and even worse to tell it to someone who can Firstly, understand me, and Secondly help me out with this, has brought me here, a place i had hoped will remain for Good stuff :(

I had long wondered what will suit me best- MBA or a Job..I feel I have reached a bit closer to an answer, from a very different perspective though.. I understand that the best way forward is to keep myself busy, and probably thats what i need a few months from now, what will keep me more busy in anybody's guess- A job can be hectic at times, but a MBA is certainly hectic all those 2 years..And today i just hope i can enter that kind of a life where I dont have a moment for anything or anyone else, because its the time you create for people and things in your life, which then isnt possible to fill up just like that! they dont just create thoughts, but even give you surplus time to do what i hate now- THINK!!

I try and stay positive in my head, and maybe for a few days goneby, I have missed my targets, and missed them spectacularly..It maybe a sign of things to come, and more so I guess I have seen enough signs in the last few days of how better things are(not) going to get..Certainly things are not heading right..I guess God agar aap kisi ko bhejne wale ho to please usse Ship se ya bailgaadi se bhejne ke jagah please Immediate possible flight se bhejo!!! Just closing this page now, hoping I am in a good enough position soon to see it- think "What rubbish"- and delete it soon..

Moments to remember...

Throughout this 10 day trip, things kept happening..Good and bad..some moments that were really worth remembering!!
1.) Trip to Gurdwara Bangla Sahib(was coaxed into going there, by a girl I met in my GIM Interview...was really worth it)


2.) XLRI PMIR GD- This guy next to me who dint let me speak.. Somewhere in between the GD I even gave him a hard stare!! But he dint flinch..he had an airtime of almost 8-9 mins in a 15 mins GD!!! My first question in my interview- Why I dint speak in the GD!!! ;)

3.)XIMB- The panelist here wanted to perhaps screw me in my technicals...he had done that with all those who had come out till then..he asked me 7-8 rapidfire sttyle technical questions- SIMD,MIMD, Boolean Algebra, Pipelining, Paging, Segementation!! Luckily i answered all of them convincingly :) He retorted: "Why the hell r u going for a MBA...do a Mtech.." So much for frustation!!!

4.)VGSOM- my Pi was at its last phase. After a decent lecture on why "not" freshers, i had thought only a miracle could get me in.. I dont know if a miracle came, but something happened that changed the mood in the panel!!! Sehwag had just hit the fastest century by an Indian abt 15 minz ago my interview began..thankfully i was checking scores..and when the topic moved to hobbies and cricket, out came the question..nd even faster was my reply(par bht calmly dia, jaise ki it was obvious)!! He gave a shock expression, then smiled- said how could I knw that!! then some more discussion on cricket, and it ended happily, after all the tragedy in the start!!

5.) I found it a sort of conspiracy that each of my interview dates clashed with one of the Matchdays..there was a match on 6th(XIMB), 8th(IITB) and then even 11th(KGP)..The uneven gaps in the itinerary brought more suspicion. Anyways..

I was virtually kicked out of my hotel on 6th..reason ye ki I wasnt ready to leave my room, and my check out time was over!!! yaar Sehwag maar raha tha!!! :( neither was I ever going to give a penny extra..finally had a huge fight with the manager,and I stormed out, saying Ghatiye log, ghatiya hotel..Must have had some strength in my hatred, the match got abandoned due to rain!!!!

6.) Kharagpur is a weird place..Before it even begins, it ends...and when it ends and you dont understd where you are, you reach IIT.. just a few small shops outside, i cant even call it a town..Its like a locality. Even the hostels were so ill maintained. Certainly my first perception wasnt at all good..

But thats the good thing with bad perceptions. They can only get better. The rest of the campus is quite brilliant. Its probably very sad that the most neglected part of the campus are the hostels, rest seems fine. But if something amazed me the most abt KGP then that was its 1072 metres long Platform..yeah you read it right..1.072 Kms long, and I was destined to get a flavour of it!!! Its very unique in its setup- 4 platforms on 1 platform..1 and 2 on one side while 3 and 4 on the other..

Howrah Hatia Express was to arrive on 4th, so that took me to one corner of the PF. And with 5 minz left, that got changed to 3..God!! So that gave me a 1 KM Ride. And it seemed much more, with all the stuff i had..Guess I did the proverbial.."SADAK NAAPNA" :)

The World against me!!

The mood has got me very political, and philosophical..Equality to all, thats what our constitution says; I believe my Civics wasnt that bad!! And now that I hv come back from a frenzy filled travel, that began or 3rd from Bhopal, to Delhi,then Mumbai and Kharagpur, and then back to ranchi, i realise that equality is a Hate word for me now. i cant remember me being so frustated about anything to such an extent ever before.. As if all those interviews- XLRI,IIT D,B,KGP, XIMB, GIM were not enough a torture for me, it came with a free free gift- a realization that I was not welcome at any of those interviews.

Every experience gave me jitters- as if the panel felt i had wasted up 1 seat, that maybe some 3-4 years "much worthy" work ex guy might have earned, had it not been for a useless me. To make things worse, IIT KGP and XIMB guys even made the point that had I been a work ex then they would have thought better of me!! Really insane..

Really now that I sit at home and reflect upon the last 240 hours or so..I realise how much time, money and efforts I invested into a business- and that hasnt given me any dividends- atleast none that I can fathom now. Just a tiny realization- that at this crisis economy time, the World seems against you-if you are a fresher!!! Too bad..

A Class Act

I dont consider my self to be too good an film analyst. Its an unventured territory for me, and for the first time, i will make my hands dirty. :)

i can remember only 2 movies, in my cinema-filled life, that I have gone on to see the first daty first show. First was Lakshya- a masterpiece I feel, but it bombed at the box office(or atleast failed to get into +ves), and after almost 5 years, the lsit doubled with Delhi-6. Funnily, i feel it might fare the same feat-if not for the reputations the movie carry.

Its as good a movie as i have seen for some time. Brilliant story, brilliant cinematography- and just like rang de basanti- it poses a big question to our social setup. Maybe the outline of the story is tried and tested, the theme used before too..but the way the story carries on, in itself makes it different. Keeps you attached to your seats all the way..

Well Abhisekh Bacchan was quite awesome. Hard to believe he is the same guy whose first movies where Refugee, Tera Jadoo Chal Gaya type stuff, where he seemed totally out of place- and look at him now..He and Akshay probably are the bigggest examples of what hard luck can do to one!!!

And Sonam..well cute as ever...Wonder if i can get a girl like her!!! :)

Satire at its Best..

Ahh...yes..I know making fun of people is not a right thing..I can still remember the faces of my teachers, pretty stern looking: "Never make fun of others!!"..That was something we heard all days, at school and at home. And hence that was what we believed..

As we grew, the concept changed somewhat..Obviously things change as we like it to change, and it changes more so for our own convenience..It became difficult to restrict yourself from a dose of laughter, especially when u had Namunas around you. And there were plenty of them! The new Gyaan: "Laugh at others,only if you can laugh at yourself". Hmm..fair enough..

Laughing at myself has never been too difficult. Laughing at others has hence been easy. Not sure if I have always felt good about it.. But so be it. Atleast I can project myself to be a saint in the case that its not me who starts the fun.. I prefer to join in!!

Well I am reminded of all this since today had a bite of "Still Moving Still Shaking" on NDTV Imagine; was a repeat telecast!! Shekhar Suman was at his imperious best.. I doubt if there is a better comic in India, he is certainly the undisputed king of satire..If anyone had a doubt, look at it..

Maybe Raju can come close, but the thing about Suman is that he is able to maintain a level of decency, and still keep up the tempo. Sure he goes into topics not all would approve of, but not for a moment you feel you should pick up the remote. He has a brilliant timing, and a fantastic speed, that can keep you laughing until you fall on the floor!!..nd a great mimic..maybe he is slightly arrogant in his real life, but the ability to make people laugh is actuaaly god-gifted, and he has done justice to it..First with Movers and Shakers, then the Great Indian Comedy Show..and he was at his best in these 2 hrs..He picked up everyone from politics, sports, MBAs for special treatment..

All the while I was having my dinner,and twice or thrice, i felt I would choke as a result of my guffaw. Thankfully I survived to tell this tale!! It certainly others, who became a source of his laughter, but something tells you that even they may smile at the hilarity of it!! And I loved the "Forward Bloc" part!! Hope I could have his talent..

Life & Cricket...

Why do I love you so much.. why is it that I cant miss a match when I have the raw materials to see it..At times i do not understand. And that time is always the time of introspection. Book in hand, and TV right infront of eyes...each and every IPL match, bang in the middle of exams..Ind Aus series right at semester end..

Why do I open up Cricinfo all day, and just read Mr. Alter and Kanishka Balachandran and George Binoy and dont-know-who-else give a ball by ball report of each match...yes each match..even Zimbabwe v/s Bangladesh!! Does the game actually influence my life,or my love for you stem from how my life is..

Life is so much like a Cricket game..ur family,ur friends are all ur team, ur staff..ur own...all ur problems, challenges are like an opponent constantly in your face..It seemed like when India played Australia a few years ago..No matter what we did, we couldnt win. They were constantly at us, attacking us ruthlessly. There was no where to go, yet you knew you had to move on. It had turned boring for everyone. The leaders and the followers..

And now everything has taken an amazing,if not unbelievable, turnaround..Ones who ruled the roost, are the ones bein pushed to the walls..Doesnt all this sound too familiar??

A life is just a pitch..u r too perform on that, as a batsman or a bowler or as a fielder supporting someone else's role in life..All my life I played on a batting paradise. I cut, I pulled..scored loadz, achieved what I set out to. But it has all changed..Now I play at a pitch that bites, that jumps..thats a minefield..Nothing is easy, every run is at a premium..But the message is clear- Perform or Perish..every good shot i play has gone to a fielder..every good ball I have bowled has beat the bat, sometimes it has taken the edge just to fall tantalisingly close..

A test match..every day u wake up to play a new day of ur life, and everyday u play to make urself stronger and erase the mistakes of past..Some days u will lose, and some days u will win..The result is important, how u play it is even more significant..You suffer blows, u suffer abuses, but something waits ahead..Or as Paulo Coelho put it, ur destiny waits for you somewhere..But you are not in this alone..U need someone..I have stayed put, but my partners have kept falling just to leave me alone to take my life to the winning target. But I am sure i will find someone one who will form that winning partnership with me, to lead to where I belong..Looking for that someone :)

My First Love..

Here it goes all over again..my every trip at home brings me face to face with a part of my life, that I have never been able to ignore..Its not even that I am mad about that, though many feel so. Yes, I count my days at home, I try to set up my stay at home so that we can spend maximum time together..and yes i have even cancelled my ticket just to remain together..But then why does it all change so soon.

Back to Bhopal..nd Shooooooooooooo..alls gone...College, friends, Bike, Mobile- they have really made me part from my first love. I still see you, remember you; though we are not together then. Damn. I guess I am alone there, no one to unite us there. That has took us further apart..

I have a more interests in my life now- my loneliness took me to heights and depths I had never been, and it changed me as a person, changed what I did for you, changed what all I sacrificed for you..Yes I wasnt the same..but u were the first and foremost to me,and will remain that way..No one can take you far from me..No one...

Not even Football. Not even Tennis. For me its just Cricket..

Comeback..

Hey...so many days in oblivion. Lost in my world, and exams and everything..and then a long sleep. And finally I m out of my sleep..nd what wakes me up..??? Well probably the best blog I have seen till date. Best among my friends..or among friends+strangers...whatever.. The fact is it was quite exceptional..

nd it rekindled the blogging talent in me..which in fact was never there. May be it was!! Else why would I create this page..

I am still lost in this GD PI world...its a strange world, unknown people and complicated stuff..Fast changing, loads to learn, and no time to rest..Islie better to sleep, and reach the real world...rest and have fun :)..

Here am I, who doesnt know if I have any desire to do what I had aimed to do..and then there are people who never recognise talents; their brilliance makes me feel soooooooooooooo small... but it suits them, who are humble. Its a brilliant world, and amazing people..met one today!!!