Second Time Around

A friend once told me, "It's easy to fall in love the first time. It's even easier to fall in love a second time. The tough part lies somewhere in between the two!" I know where he is coming from.

Being in love is wonderful. It's beautiful. It's a house of cards. Someday it will come crashing down. Unless you are in a dream, like an Inception. You look at those cards, you repent for a while. Then you start piling them over again. It falls down again, you imagine the house you had earlier. Miss it. Finally, certainly, you do create it again. But it doesn't look the same- does it? But you work with it, nonetheless.

Not that the cards don't talk to you. Some cards just look at you with disdain. They obviously don't like you messing with them consistently. Others don't really care, but still mutter something under their breath- "Move on, dude", "Get a Life", "Suck it up", "Best phase of your life, Enjoy it!", "Ladkiyaan bus ki tarah he, ek jaayegi, agli aayegi". You nod you head. You don't believe it!

There are a few cards, the dominating ones - "Abe Idiot he tu, bhul ja use". Now you certainly don't like yourself being called that. So, you ignore them. And then there's the more loving ones, caring cards- "Abe kamini he wo, bhul ja use". Something you wouldn't like either, if you are still in love.

You wish you had a bloated ego, the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger. So that you actually felt angry. But you can't. You love her, not hate her. So you tell the cards- it's tough to be convinced, when you can neither hate yourself, nor her.. Finally the new house of cards is ready. But the cards look creased, bent.

Of course we move on. That's what life's about. But the baggage stays. It might not be heavy, but it's indispensable. Try and try, but you won't get rid of it! You walk with so much baggage, it just slows you down. You needn't even look back; you already know what's there. That's the tough part I think my friend was talking about.